Skip to main content

What I'm I Doing With My Life? Part 4

Image result for what i'm i doing


Back then, we didn’t have Whatsapp, it was BBM. I sent him a message, it delivered but he didn’t receive it. The next day was a Saturday and I was supposed to see him as usual, so I called him; he said he won’t be at home, that he will be attending a burial with his brother’s ex and then in the evening he would be going for choir practice. So I backed my bag for my journey back to Lagos; the plan was to go to his house and leave for the airport the next morning but since he didn’t want to see me, I had to leave from my girlfriends place.
Luckily another friend (a guy asking me out at the time) offered to take me to the airport. So I got to the airport and off to Lagos; as our flight got to Lagos, it took an unusual time to land (the reason why I have not left my location in six years) but thankfully it did. The minute I got my bags, and my sister came to picked me, I called to tell him I’m in Lagos and said sarcastically “thanks for caring”. He replied with “Ok” and I complained about him not seeing me off; we argued, he called me childish and I ended the call.


We didn’t chat or talk for weeks and I felt really angry because I thought he was different; that it wasn’t just about sex but he acted like every other guy I have known. You know…the guy that just wants to hit. So I deleted him from my social media and his number but I had it offhand. He noticed few days after and called me, I picked and he said so I deleted and blocked him and I said yes, that we have not been communicating so I didn’t see the point of having his contact. And he said; “Ok” and hung up – he is not really a wordy guy, talks when necessary. To me I felt it was over and wasn’t all that bothered since I didn’t want to stress over someone that just wanted my body. I was able to move on because I was mad at him for being a jerk and since we weren’t too intimate, it was easier.


After some months, he sends a message but I didn’t reply. So he messaged once in a while and each time he called I won’t pick. This went on for three years until he used an unknown number to call me. By then I had started another job in Lagos; I picked his call and he asked how I was doing, I didn’t know who I was talking to but politely replied and he asked if I knew who I was talking to, I said no and he introduced himself. Since I already picked the call, it would be rude to hang up besides; I was in a good mood that evening (I guess he just knew the right time to call). We caught up on his family and mine; he finally graduated, went for service and is currently in Lagos for a job. He told me his three sisters were all married; I was really happy for him and somehow I wasn’t so mad at him anymore- after all, we were once friends. It was 2014, now we have Whatsapp so we chatted there and I promised to see him before he leaves for Port-Harcourt since he was in Lagos for training.



On one Saturday after work, I visited him at his hotel. As he opened the hotel entrance door to get me and I saw him for the first time in three years. He looked so different, buffed and really handsome, my feelings started rushing in again. We got to his room and his friend from school was there and a girl that I think he met online (he mentioned something like that),he offered me chocolate biscuit and we caught up with old times and his friend talked about how I was at the top list of the hottest girl in school. Though I packed on a few pounds and my ex (best friend now ex) jokingly called me fat (As a lady, there is nothing funny about being called fat) but his friend said I still look cute. The girl in the hotel at some point was forming sleeping; my ex called his mum on phone and she spoke to his male friend and he told her I was there, so she spoke to me as well but sounded disappointed in me for leaving port-Harcourt and not saying goodbye. I apologized and told her I hope I could explain what happened face to face and she said; “it’s okay” that she hoped to see me sometime.


After a while, the girl left, then his friend; before his friend left, I was having headache so they went to get me an aspirin. Due to the headache, I was still lying in bed. So he came back and a movie with Cameron Diaz was playing on TV, he sat on the bed with me and joked about her being his crush “wife”. We talked a little about what happened with us and he said he still has feelings for me and I said I do too; just when I thought we can finally get back together, he tells me he has a girlfriend and she is in one of those European countries but that he is torn. It was getting really dark and I told him I have to go, he was getting ready to see me off and I requested for a hug, as he hugged me and we withdrew, I leaned in for a kiss and we kissed, falling on the bed and continued. But I stopped it and said I have to go and he asked me to stay, that it was already late and he would feel bad if he let me go and anything happened to me.


Since I didn’t plan to sleep out I called my sister to tell her I won’t be able to make it back that night, he went to take a shower and I took mine as well. He got me dinner but didn’t want to eat; he lay down and as I ate I fed him some food. As we were in bed, we made out and almost had sex but the thought of him having a girlfriend could not permit me to give in. So we ended up not having sex; he slept off but I could not sleep, I wanted him so bad but I didn’t want to give in only for him to end up with his girlfriend.

Click Here for Part 3

Comments

Popular Post

Why I Started Blogging

Before I discovered blogging, I enjoyed writing - whether it's my thoughts, my idea of a song, a story or movie synopsis. I knew about websites but had no idea how it works; I would search Google for news (well mostly celeb gossip or anything entertainment) and it gives me different sites to check information).

My Dating experience :My First Love Part 6

The next day, I was waiting for my boyfriend, the agent, anyone … Thankfully, he arrived in the afternoon - he went to the agent house for the key before he came. I was so relieved; I hugged him and he joked about me being locked up. I followed him to give the key back to the agent.

My dating experience :My First Love Part 5

It was the first semester of my final year,i was preparing for my exams and living with my boyfriend - it wasn't  a wise choice.  Sometimes, we (my boyfriend and I)  would study together, other times I'd go for night class and study there. I got used to my boyfriend not making me a priority, keeping late nights, being too friendly with his female neighbors and probably cheating that I was just not interested anymore. We were just living like roommates...

How is life with you?

Don’t you wish someone would just ask you that? And I’m not saying just for formalities ,like when a guy chat you up and ask “sup”, “how was your day” cause he is just trying to be polite or just thinks that’s what he supposed to do to show that he cares. I’m talking about someone asking “how is life with you” and really mean it. Like they really want to know if you are okay; not just financially, physically and emotionally.

Why do I keep having dreams of my ex?

Okay, since last year I've been having dreams of my ex, who was also my first love . From, my dating experience, you can see why it didn't work out. Though, it was painful but it had to be done. After the breakup, I felt we had unfinished business or some closure to do  that each time we see it doesn't feel like we have. I barely dreamt about him but it became serious beginning of last year, that I had to buzz him on Facebook where he quickly told me he is engaged to be married as if I was trying to get him back. I wasn't trying to get him back, a part of me just wanted to know why I had that first dream which I barely have of him.

7 Things i Regret Doing in Life

There are a lot of things I wish I knew before starting it; whether is a career move, relationships, dealing with family... Most times its when we fail we learn but I always wondered why I didn't have anyone to advice me, someone close to look up to. Sometimes, all we need is ourselves to get through a situation, to create something, to be great...and with this comes mistakes, that's how we learn from them. So, here are seven things I regret doing in my life.

My dating experience :My First Love Part 5 {Cont'd}

We arrived for second semester and it was my last semester in that School. I was excited cause I didn't have to worry about getting through with some courses; not like they were hard but you know they are some annoying lecturers that just enjoy failing people while some just want you to bribe them not to...Either way, I was excited but not too excited cause I would miss my friends.

How lonely are you?

Relationship wise, I'm really lonely… well career wise as well. You know, sometimes I want my alone time. Yes I know I want someone in my life but sometimes I think about being with one person for the rest of my life. I know you are wondering if I'm alright,i promise you I am and I want to believe I'm not the only one who feels this way.  Maybe it's because I have not found the right person to be with -being with the right person makes the relationship easier and worthwhile…. At least that's what I want to believe since I have not met the right person yet.