How my year is going so far...

How my year is going so far...
Hey guys,
How are  you all doing? Hope great. I'm fine thank you for asking. So I know it's been a while you heard from me,well I've
been busy with moving with my family ,work, mum feeling sick,Easter ….
It's been a year guys…And you know what?  Though I've been really stressed, I like that I've been very busy:you know, not
worry about not being in a relationship and all that crap (yeah I call it crap cause dating is hard and Nigerian men don't make it easy).

The strange thing is, while I was pursuing money and getting really busy, somehow I've managed to be social - well not
entirely, I'm quite the introvert but I met a new friend.  I know you are wondering oh just one friend?! Trust me making friends
is not the problem, it's making genuine friends...So yeah, it's a big deal for me.
Anyways, I met this friend while I was house hunting (she is a lady, in case you are wondering),half Ghanaian, half Ibo.
She was really friendly and just nice, like I can't remember the last time I connected with someone since 2005.  
The house we were supposed to take was below her apartment, due to some shenanigans with the landlord(oh no, landlord’s
brother) and agent, it did not work out but then I made a friend. The first meeting was in the building,i was inquiring about the
apartment and the second was in a bus on my way to work on the island. I recognized her and said hello, we talked like
we've known each other for a really long time and it began from there. Since then, we have been going to work together
(her mum drops us at the bus stop), planning work out sessions - I really don't know when I would make time for that...she is
already tired of trying to convince me, lol.
So far , it's been good .
Image result for how my year is going so far

I also finally met my male friend from twitter ,we have met for like three to four times (mostly at my work, since all I do is work,
lol),the fourth  time was during Easter Monday, we went to a conservation center at Lekki, it was adventurous and fun
(even had canopy walk,met some monkeys and fishes)...it was another fun in a really long time.  After few hours we went to
his apartment he shares with two other ladies, made noodles, talked a little and shared a kissed. It was nice but I wasn't in
the romance mood so we stopped: somehow I think we both know we won't get married, we are better off as friends.
i'll probably explain this later but in a nutshell, I think we both felt awkward afterwards since we have not seen since then;
he has been busy and I'm not even bothered. We still communicate once in a while though.

Just last weekend, I met someone on my way to church, I had not been in church for three weeks (was down with malaria
and my aunt of the month came after ) so I made sure I attended this time. Walking to church on my street, someone was
walking really fast behind me,i was also walking fast as well until he approached me. This tall dark slender handsome
looking man and he asked “Hello, do you know where a Catholic Church is around here? “ I have been to the parish but it's
quite far, I was told there is an outstation close by “. And I smiled a little and said:”yeah that's where I'm going “. As we
walked down,i asked if he is new in the estate, he said a few months. And I asked how he found the estate, he said
“peaceful”.
We got to church and usually, I like to sit at the extreme end but I felt since I was with someone, it would be awkward if we
walk in just to sit separately. He also stretched his hand where he wanted to sit, like he was inviting me to sit next to him.
We didn't say a word to each other and I kept admiring him from my side eye.  It's funny cause, I had a dream about maybe
(I said maybe cause I mean, who knows… ) my future husband, but I couldn't see his face ; in the dream we were seated
by the bed, I was holding our baby (who was really fair skinned by the way) but in this particular dream, I was watching
myself from behind but also felt my baby in my arms… I don't know if that makes sense. Anyways, I didn't see his face
but I saw the back head, he looked dark, tall and slender. Since that dream have been looking out for that back head, lol.
After a while I gave up cause It just felt ridiculous until I saw this guy and guess what?  He has that back head, tall, dark
and slender *sigh*.

We didn't say a word in church until during Thanksgiving and I asked of his parents ( yeah, while on our walk, I asked if
he stayed with his family,he said he stays alone *wink*) .He said he lost his dad really young and his mum passed away
last year after a failed brain surgery.  I felt really sad for him, I also told him my dad is late, that it's just my mum now. If felt
really nice that this person could talk about something so personal to someone he just met (though I have that effect on
people). It made me feel really comfortable and safe with him and I started thinking so many things at once ;first I checked
the head,lol...asked where he is from after he asked me; we are both from the same state.  After church, I stopped by the
supermarket to get something, he waited for me then walked home afterwards (we live close by). I began to ask myself,
“is he the one”? I know I do that a lot but this was different and I've not done this in a really long time.
As we approached the junction that separates our building, he asked for my number, I gladly gave it to him,he buzzed me
with it and went home.

I have not really liked Someone like this  in a really long time, I felt this kinda excitement I could not explain :dancing when
there is no music kinda happy. It was nice… but the negative part of my self began; that part that makes me feel like
happiness doesn't last, that this wasn't happening.  I began to ask myself, what if he has a girlfriend (hell, there is no way
this guy doesn't have a girlfriend, a fiancee even), maybe he was just being friendly? Is he into me? He could have asked
anyone for directions, why me? To be fair, the road was really quiet while we walked and I looked like I was going to church.
 So maybe he just really needed help-he did mention someone mistakenly directing him to an Anglican church and he was
with his friend (did he mean his girlfriend?), he also said there comes a time in a person's life where you keep less friends…
is he ready to settle down with his friend /girlfriend?
These were the things going through my head and I just told myself to relax and just let things flow.

We met on Sunday, , the next day was a Monday, I didn't hear from him,i started believing my assumptions and later I just
said he is probably busy. As a software engineer for a security company, you require focus.  Let me see how Tuesday will be,
didn't hear from him still so I decided to buzz him on WhatsApp I said :Hello, how are you and work. He replied after five to
seven minutes ,that was one very long minute. He said hello “my name”,I'm fine and work is great, you?” I replied same.  
To be honest, I was dreading contacting him first cause most African guys can be quite backwards and feel they should
always make the move and not the lady but I couldn't help myself, I just wanted to be in touch. We don't have to be romantic,
since we are neighbors we could just be friends.
As he wasn't really communicating, I assumed he was busy and since I initiated the conversation, I also ended it. I said ; just
wanted to say hey and he replied ;” thanks a million, much appreciated “ And I said have a great day and he said “thanks,
you too, enjoy your day”.After that day, I decided not to contact him unless he contacts me and so far he has not.
I'm I disappointed?yeah,I am. Did I screw it up by contacting first,i don't know.. But I thought we had a connection, maybe I
was wrong. Maybe I'm just good at people opening up to me, maybe he was just being friendly and doesn't need more
friends or maybe he is in a serious relationship and just only needed directions to the Catholic Church outstation. Who knows…

I was probably feeling lonely and thought finally,  God has sent me the one. You won't believe since I said hey I've not
heard from him. Another Sunday just passed and not even a text saying “hey didn't see you in church today” (yeah, I attended
another parish). At least he showed me who he is so I wouldn't get any ideas. You are probably wondering,it's just been a
week ...but what is the point of collecting someone number and not calling or at least texting? It makes no sense to me.  I just
don't give anybody my number. If we had a connection and I would like to hear from you again, I'll give you my number . Who
goes around asking people for numbers, just not to call them? Maybe he was just being nice by asking, probably saw the
desperation in me (I highly doubt I was) and felt it would be rude not to ask. But guess what, that is total bullshit! It is indeed
very rude to ask for one's number and not call,period! It would have been nicer if you didn't ask at all. I would have told myself,
we probably didn't connect as I thought and forgotten about your arrogant a#$.

Sorry guys but I just have to vent,like what will be a blog without venting? I'm kidding, of course we share the good stuff and
obviously learn from every experience. The lesson here is not to expect anything from anyone, if you feel lonely, address it
and do something that makes you happy.  You could call a friend you can always talk to and doesn't judge to vent, trust me
you will feel better in the morning. Loneliness is not forever, as long as you plan to have a family some day, there is always
someone for everyone,just be patient.
Thank you for reading, until next time...Have a great day.


Being attracted to a married man


Yeah it just so happens that I'm attracted to really attractive married man. You know, I had no idea he was married when we met the first time - it was at my work place. Like I mentioned on balancing work and life...I work in a facility and this particular guy is in charge of maintaining the lift. On that first day, I was with my colleague and boss when he walked in and I was like who is this tall, dark and handsome fella (and really young) but I wasn't really focused on him cause I had a lot of work to do that day and calls make.

Didn't know he was still around, so I stepped outside to make a personal call when he drove by and said hi (would have mentioned the name of the car but I'm not good with cars) and I said hi back. He introduced himself, said I look nice and asked if I had anything for lunch, I said not yet and he gave me two thousand Naira to have lunch and asked for my number; I gladly gave him since I didn't see a ring in his finger.

After that day, I decided to stalk him on social media through through his Linkedin since i only new his first name and company and I realised he is from the West (no offence but I don't really see myself in a serious relationship with guys from the West;most of them are promiscuous and don't value the sanctity of marriage -i would know, I live in the West). So I was a little disappointed since I hoped this was the one, lol...Yeah someone I just met right?I'm crazy like that. Anyways, that was one red flag, also the fact he didn't call me for days after collecting my number. He sent me a message on WhatsApp to say hello and appreciate my beauty, I blushed. Until he came to the office for the second time, I was on my way out for lunch and we met on my way out, the chemistry (or is it biology in this case since we have not talked much but the physical intensity was over the roof) was electrifying - you know when you are attracted to someone and you are in a public place but you wish you were not?that's how I was feeling at that moment. Then he raised his left hand and I saw the ring and it was like I got punched in the gut real hard.  So I dismissed him politely and walked away.

The thing is, when I found out he is from the West, I was trying not to be interested but I couldn't so I settled for “we will just have a good time”  then I see this ring and I'm like “great now I have more to worry about “... And as always I started worrying - hoping he is not really married that he is just wearing  the ring to probably keep some ladies away (what? Some guys do it…) or he just likes to wear rings on that finger *sigh*...but I just told myself to let go but it's been really hard since I see him almost three times a month especially recently since they are currently doing maintenance for the lift.

He has been inviting me to go out for lunch but with the election and Saturday's being really dull since February in Nigeria,we have not been able to (PS: I had already agreed to a date before we met the second time and found out he is married). I've also been trying to avoid going out with him so I don't encourage him or put myself in temptation. Two days ago, he called me and said he was outside the facility, that he was passing by and wanted to see my beautiful face. So I went to see him and we talked a little in the car,i had to go back to the office so I asked if he was happy he saw me, he said over excited and requested for  hug or kiss in the chin. I obliged (for a hug) but it turns out it was a kiss on the chin...you see, he was looking really fine that day and normally i won't make a big deal out of the kiss but that was first time in a year and half that I've been that close to a man, so it was a big deal.

The truth is, this is not who I am. I'm from a broken home so I don't like anything or anyone that involves in extra marital affairs. I don't like to cheat (even with a guy that has a girlfriend) or be cheated on - still wondering what kind of temptation is this.  If this guy wasn't married, trust me he is just my type but he is and I just have to look for a way to avoid him. Also not to make it awkward since he has a contract with the company I work for.

The truth is, yes is my type ;in terms of physique, seems like a generous person too… That's much I know about him but you know what?  He might not really be my type since he is married besides he contacts me like once in two weeks (which is a red flag apart from the FACT that he is married, lol),if I try to get to know him I might realise that we have nothing in common and God definitely knows who is meant for us and who we deserve. This could probably be a test for me,He probably wants to see how patient I am or the type of man I want physically, who knows ...i hope I pass the test.

Happy new year Life and Dating readers!!!

Hi everyone,

Happy new  year!!! Been MIA for too long and I have a good reason for that . You see, I got a job and it's been taking my time a lot -like I work Mondays to Saturdays (well, half day but what's the difference? As long as I leave my house that day, it doesn't matter when I get  back.  Anywho, I'm sort of back -i said sort of cause I'm still trying to figure out how I would keep posting articles with my work schedule (fingers crossed) but you know what? This is 2019,so no excuses, we just have to try however we can to achieve what we need to achieve (whether it is comfortable or not).  Besides I'm using my phone to write this on my way home, so what's your excuse?

The job is on the island and I live on the mainland so I've been trying to get used to the routine so it doesn't affect the job and my writing of course  - if I'm not in that frame of mind, I won't give you something with quality.  So my friends, I just want to wish you a happy new year and the best this world and beyond has to offer. Don't be bothered about your struggles ; be it at work, relationships, family, health... Whatever it is, just keep moving.  Keep trying and remember, consistency is key.  Always look for solutions not problems - if it ain't broke right? Always make yourself happy cause no one can expect you  - you just have to accept what you can't change and do what feels right.  It applies to every part of your life. Make sure you stay healthy and away from toxic /negative people. .. You don't need the darling!

I'm grateful for you guys (my loyal readers), thank God we made it.   I love you all, you are very important and the world needs everyone of you - remember that!

Once again, Happy new year!!! Don't work so hard but smart. Do something daring this year. Resolution? Hmm... Just do what feels right, one day at a time. You'll be alright *smiles*
Until I write next (bear with my writing schedule) ...please accept me the way I am.
Wish you and yours a great 2019.

What is on my mind right now?

What is on my mind right now?

Um, there are a lot of things on my mind but right now is staring at my blog account, seeing how i have not been able to post anything for two weeks. To be honest a lot have been going on that i didn't know how i totally abandoned my blog. It's not that i haven't thought of writing something, it’s just before i try to write something, I tell myself it has to be a very long post and i ask if i have enough time to write it.

Don't settle for less,you deserve better

Don't settle for less,you deserve better
That’s what I heard growing up; either from people, in a song or family but I never really understood it until life began to deal with me. Don’t settle for less, you deserve better, you are too good for this and that… And you know what? It is true. Despite what life throws at you, you are better than that, you deserve more than what you are getting. We are all here for a reason, a purpose and need to be able to take it – whatever that is.

Before You Start Blogging

Before You Start Blogging
Before blogging became what it is today, it was more of an online journal. But now, it’s a form of business and people are making not just a living but a fortune from it. Normally I love writing; I would write in my notebook or diary, so when I discovered blogging, I was excited to show the word my craft.  When some Nigerian bloggers like Linda Ikeji and Bella Naija started making money from it, I thought “oh, this is great”, I should start making money but the truth is, it’s not as easy as it seems. If you want to start a blog; whether as a hobby (the truth is, it always starts this way but then when you hear people making money from it, you become tempted to want to know how to make money as well) or business, you need to;

7 Things i Regret Doing in Life

7 Things i Regret Doing in Life
There are a lot of things I wish I knew before starting it; whether is a career move, relationships, dealing with family... Most times its when we fail we learn but I always wondered why I didn't have anyone to advice me, someone close to look up to. Sometimes, all we need is ourselves to get through a situation, to create something, to be great...and with this comes mistakes, that's how we learn from them. So, here are seven things I regret doing in my life.

How is life with you?

How is life with you?
Don’t you wish someone would just ask you that? And I’m not saying just for formalities ,like when a guy chat you up and ask “sup”, “how was your day” cause he is just trying to be polite or just thinks that’s what he supposed to do to show that he cares. I’m talking about someone asking “how is life with you” and really mean it. Like they really want to know if you are okay; not just financially, physically and emotionally.

What I've Been Up to These Past Few Weeks

What I've Been Up to These Past Few Weeks
Sorry guys, I’ve not been online for more than a month now. There is a good explanation for this; you know I told you I’ll be doing some job hunting or training that could lead to a job. Well, this past few weeks was for training on Production Assistant in Media and Entertainment. It wasn’t fun in the beginning but at the end, it was worth it. Not sure I’ve ever been committed to anything like I was with that class. You see, I’ve been unemployed for a year now and I told myself whatever it is I get myself involved in, I would put my 100% (guys, I wish I could do that for this blog but your girl has to put food on the table. Sadly this blog is not doing that just yet)...and I did. Well, sort of since we were shared into groups and didn’t have a say on which group we (well, I didn’t get a chance to pick a group, I was just fixed in one) want to be in.