Sorry guys, I’ve not been online for more than a month now. There is a good explanation for this; you know I told you I’ll be doing some job hunting or training that could lead to a job. Well, this past few weeks was for training on Production Assistant in Media and Entertainment. It wasn’t fun in the beginning but at the end, it was worth it. Not sure I’ve ever been committed to anything like I was with that class. You see, I’ve been unemployed for a year now and I told myself whatever it is I get myself involved in, I would put my 100% (guys, I wish I could do that for this blog but your girl has to put food on the table. Sadly this blog is not doing that just yet)...and I did. Well, sort of since we were shared into groups and didn’t have a say on which group we (well, I didn’t get a chance to pick a group, I was just fixed in one) want to be in.
They say to be able to master a habit; it has to be done for 21 days. Boy! It was tough. Going from staying at home for months to getting up at 5:30am everyday was a bit of a challenge. We all had to be there early because they were particular about punctuality and attendance. Anyways, it was fun, at least the people in class made the class lively. We were 30 in class, 23 men and 7 women. And as always, the boys kept crushing on me. One particular guy, Daniel was just infatuated, another Emma also liked me but he was kinda shy and in my group Otee; I could tell he likes me but he wasn’t coming out with it.
The truth is I just wanted to have a good time, get good grades so I can get the certificate that I wasn’t interested in fostering any relationship. Besides with my history with guys, I wasn’t even bothered about any guy really truly liking me. Most of them are just interested in –Owen’s voice from One Tree Hill “what’s underneath the clothes”. It doesn’t mean I didn’t see some that I liked or had a connection, I did. In that class ,at first I admired AY,I thought he was really cute but we didn’t really have a connection and he seemed like he is into guys and not girls – he didn’t admit though but I’m usually right about this things, lol…I guess we’ll see.
Then there is Emma, he is from the West and it’s not that I am tribalistic but giving their history of infidelity and abandoning their families, I told myself I don’t want to have anything to do with them romantically. Yeah, if I don’t want to marry you, I can’t date you –it wasn’t always my motto but as I get older and ready to settle down, I don’t want to waste my time with anyone I don’t intend to marry. I know you’ll say why I’m I generalizing that it’s an individual thing but trust me, it’s their way of life though not all of them but majority of them. Unless, God says my husband would come from there, then hopefully he would be among the few responsible ones.
Anyways after the training we had a get together, I was part of the committee and on that day I had my monthly sickness and wasn’t just up for it. But being one of the organizers, I just had to show up – it was a little late though but I showed up. This guy Emma, after having a few beers and vodka summoned the courage to tell me how he feels for me. I wasn’t surprised because I could tell but i wanted to be sure it wasn’t the alcohol talking and he assured me it wasn’t. But before I could say something about it, we were interrupted and it was time to head home. Otee seemed a bit jealous and said “it seems you guys want to stay a bit longer” I laughed and said not really that we were all going together. You see, I take Otee as a brother (although I had a dream about him, the day before the end of the training; we sat next to each other and were pretty cozy), we talk about general stuff like family, relationships and work. Besides he said he plans to get married next year that he has three ladies that are just friends but hopes to settle down with one of them…So I didn’t expect that.
Meanwhile after the party, Emma felt sick the next day. So I really don’t know how I feel about him just yet. I do this thing where when a guy tells me how he feels about me, I start imagining my life with him; if he fits in my life or not. I know it’s not healthy cause if I eventually date this guy and all my fantasy doesn’t come through I become disappointed. So last night I called him to check on how he is doing, he said he wasn’t still feeling good that he would be going to the clinic. He sent me a message on Whatsapp and since I’ve started nurturing feelings for him, I wanted to know how old he is before I get too interested. Guess what? I’m four years older, damn it! I know you are wondering why should age matter, it doesn’t matter to me per say but it’s not just the age, he still lives off his elder brother and doesn’t have a job –well, like me *sigh*.
He is a promising young guy but I’m I sure he really wants something serious? Because I want something serious, I don’t want to have to wait that long (that’s if he is considering settling down with me and not just infatuated). Well I guess we’ll see. To be honest I’m not focusing on men right now, I just want to get my career up and running. If this guy is really serious, I might just give him a chance but if he is just after the booty, I’ll pass. I hope he gets well soon so I can know what he truly wants and if it works.
That’s just a summary of what I’ve been up to these past few weeks .I really missed you guys, hope the feeling is mutual *smiles*. Don’t worry, I’m back but bear with me if I don’t post as much. Thought I could manage that training and this blog but I couldn’t, will give you a heads up next time. Thank you for your patience.