Skip to main content

What is on my mind right now?


Um, there are a lot of things on my mind but right now is staring at my blog account, seeing how i have not been able to post anything for two weeks. To be honest a lot have been going on that i didn't know how i totally abandoned my blog. It's not that i haven't thought of writing something, it’s just before i try to write something, I tell myself it has to be a very long post and i ask if i have enough time to write it.

Image result for what is on my mind right now
Let me tell you something guys, writing takes a whole lot of time; except you just want to write anything. But i really have to stop bothering about the length of a post and just write...as long as i pass the message across which could be either - educating, informative or entertaining which in this case i hope it is *wink*…you know, with my awkwardness.

So what’s going on in my head? Been trying to figure out how I can post regularly and I just found out that it’s okay if your post is not so lengthy and so it inspired me to write this just now. Anyways, I’ve been thinking about my ex who is also my BFF (best friend forever-sometimes if feels like we are stuck with each other …in a good way), i have also been thinking about how I amunemployed and how we are going to juggle this long distance relationship thing. Yes my friends, we don’t live in the same state and we are trying to rekindle our relationship. And I’m worried about a lot of things like;

When are we going to see?                    
It’s been eight years and I would really love to see him before the end of this year. He is working on leaving the country by next year and I just want us to spend some time together before he does. Who knows, if things go well with us (not just personally but career wise) he wouldn’t have to travel. If I was working and had a source of income, planning my trip to see him would have been easier. Though he wouldn’t mind funding my t-fare, I don’t want him to; I want him to know I genuinely want to see him by using my own money to travel and not because he gave me.

How to tell him I am very broke when he complains about me not calling him

You know how relationships can be; you guys want to check on each other, call or text each other. And yes we are grateful to Whatsapp but it still involves using data, and some people still prefer the old fashion calls. So when he makes comment about why I don’t call him I just can see myself telling him I don’t have airtime. It’s just embarrassing for me.

If we see and he introduces me to his friends would I be confident enough knowing I’m unemployed

Just imagine me visiting and he takes me out on a double date with his friend and girlfriend and we begin to introduce ourselves. What I’m I going to say I do for a living .I know it might not mean much to you guys but it does to me and I think about these things.

Would I become too needy because I’m bored and keep buzzing him all the time?
Since we rekindled our relationship I have been worried about being too needy or clingy. He works Mondays to Fridays and sometimes I just want to hear from him. When I call, he is either on the road or busy in the office and it just makes me feel like I being too needy.

The truth is, I want us to work; maybe I over analyze things, maybe it’s normal to have these feelings but in the end I just have to be able to talk about it with him. Anyways that is what is on my mind right now and I thought I should share. I missed you guys, miss me?

Popular Post

Why I Started Blogging

Before I discovered blogging, I enjoyed writing - whether it's my thoughts, my idea of a song, a story or movie synopsis. I knew about websites but had no idea how it works; I would search Google for news (well mostly celeb gossip or anything entertainment) and it gives me different sites to check information).

My Dating experience :My First Love Part 6

The next day, I was waiting for my boyfriend, the agent, anyone … Thankfully, he arrived in the afternoon - he went to the agent house for the key before he came. I was so relieved; I hugged him and he joked about me being locked up. I followed him to give the key back to the agent.

My dating experience :My First Love Part 5

It was the first semester of my final year,i was preparing for my exams and living with my boyfriend - it wasn't  a wise choice.  Sometimes, we (my boyfriend and I)  would study together, other times I'd go for night class and study there. I got used to my boyfriend not making me a priority, keeping late nights, being too friendly with his female neighbors and probably cheating that I was just not interested anymore. We were just living like roommates...

How is life with you?

Don’t you wish someone would just ask you that? And I’m not saying just for formalities ,like when a guy chat you up and ask “sup”, “how was your day” cause he is just trying to be polite or just thinks that’s what he supposed to do to show that he cares. I’m talking about someone asking “how is life with you” and really mean it. Like they really want to know if you are okay; not just financially, physically and emotionally.

Why do I keep having dreams of my ex?

Okay, since last year I've been having dreams of my ex, who was also my first love . From, my dating experience, you can see why it didn't work out. Though, it was painful but it had to be done. After the breakup, I felt we had unfinished business or some closure to do  that each time we see it doesn't feel like we have. I barely dreamt about him but it became serious beginning of last year, that I had to buzz him on Facebook where he quickly told me he is engaged to be married as if I was trying to get him back. I wasn't trying to get him back, a part of me just wanted to know why I had that first dream which I barely have of him.

7 Things i Regret Doing in Life

There are a lot of things I wish I knew before starting it; whether is a career move, relationships, dealing with family... Most times its when we fail we learn but I always wondered why I didn't have anyone to advice me, someone close to look up to. Sometimes, all we need is ourselves to get through a situation, to create something, to be great...and with this comes mistakes, that's how we learn from them. So, here are seven things I regret doing in my life.

My dating experience :My First Love Part 5 {Cont'd}

We arrived for second semester and it was my last semester in that School. I was excited cause I didn't have to worry about getting through with some courses; not like they were hard but you know they are some annoying lecturers that just enjoy failing people while some just want you to bribe them not to...Either way, I was excited but not too excited cause I would miss my friends.

How lonely are you?

Relationship wise, I'm really lonely… well career wise as well. You know, sometimes I want my alone time. Yes I know I want someone in my life but sometimes I think about being with one person for the rest of my life. I know you are wondering if I'm alright,i promise you I am and I want to believe I'm not the only one who feels this way.  Maybe it's because I have not found the right person to be with -being with the right person makes the relationship easier and worthwhile…. At least that's what I want to believe since I have not met the right person yet.