My Dating experience :My First Love Part 6

The next day, I was waiting for my boyfriend, the agent, anyone… Thankfully, he arrived in the afternoon - he went to the agent house for the key before he came. I was so relieved; I hugged him and he joked about me being locked up. I followed him to give the key back to the agent.

We got back to his apartment, spent the night (I think… to be honest I can't really remember if that was the day I decided we should break up or if it was the next day - It was probably that day). Before now we barely quarreled because he was far away and I was just tired of being insanely jealous wondering what he is doing when I'm not there. You know what they say; “Whenever woman stops complaining or nagging about your behavior, just know that she doesn’t care anymore. But most guys think it's because she has found someone else but trust me, it's not always the case. There was a lot of distrust in the relationship that I was losing myself.

Anyways it happened on an afternoon and I said “I need to talk to you”. We sat on the bed and I asked about our future plans, he said “when we get to that bridge we would know how to cross it “. And I said “but this is my final year and you have another year, what happens next? “ He said “why are you asking this now?” I said “because I want to know”. He kept saying I should relax that we don't have to talk about this now. The thing is I realized each time we talked about our future, he never takes them seriously. I also wondered what being in a relationship with him after school would be like. When I barely had rest of mind while we were together, is it when we are so many kilometers apart that I would be alright… would probably have heart attack thinking about his infidelity. So I said: “each time I talk about our future you have nothing reasonable to say, I’m tired. We need to end this before it gets worse”. He said: what gets worse?

Our relationship, it’s not growing, there are no plans, I might not see you again till God knows when, its better we end it now”. - I said

It was raining, so we used that time to talk. When the rain stopped, I took some of my things and left. I told him I love him and this was the hardest thing I’d have to do but its right for me. I wasn’t happy in the relationship, I’ve been fighting myself to be with you, and I don't even know myself anymore. He followed me as I left and begged me to at least stay the night (hoping he could change my mind) but I didn't want to, I was done with him, the apartment, everything…. I just needed a fresh start. He shed a tear and pleaded but I asked him to let me go, i just couldn’t do it anymore. So I got on a bike and left for my friend’s apartment. I began to cry on the bike as I left, I wiped my face as I got to my friend’s apartment. They were around and I just needed someone to give me a hug, I told them about it and they comforted me. I cried all night but they urged me to be strong that I had to prepare for my exams.

My boyfriend called me the next morning (he probably didn't believe I would have the courage to leave him, it probably felt like a dream - it's not like he did anything wrong at that particular time, just accumulation of resentment) and I told him to please stop calling that I have made up my mind...he left the same day.

Though I was going through a breakup, the relationship felt like it was over a long before. And since I had exams to prep for, I didn't need any distractions and I had to place all my energy on passing my exams. A part of me wanted him to fight for me (though I didn't know it at the time),another part of me felt free, like I could be myself again - not centering my life around a guy.

One of my mature friends that date men off campus was kind-of my inspiration; she was independent, knew what she wanted and took life easy. I just wanted to believe there is more to life than being in a relationship that wasn't working, that was toxic and driving me insane.

We were through with our exams and we had our project left to defend. We had three weeks left to defend our project, so my friends and I decided to go on an adventure. That ATC guy: he lives in the northern part of Nigeria, invited members of the club to attend his birthday. So my friends and I hopped on a bus and went. It was a fun birthday, the next day, he took me out and told me he likes me and would like a relationship (I'm pretty sure he said He would like to “court” me…I think). It was cute, he was nice, he wasn't a student, i needed a rebound… I accepted.

My boyfriend only called twice since we broke up. Though I said he should not call, I was hurt...you know how girls are…I didn't mean he should never call me; I just need some time apart. He didn't really put any effort that it felt like he wanted the breakup as well. With my project, a new guy asking me out and coming to an end of my degree, I didn't think about him much. After a week, we got back for our defense, we did good, said our goodbyes and my friend Agnes and I travelled back to the west.

He was my first love and as they say, you never forget your first. He is married (last year) now, after years of wondering if we would get back together and if he was right for me. The thing is he was the first guy I had sex with and I thought the guy I give my virginity to would be my husband, so it was really hard letting go, I had this fantasy of having a family with him; with four kids in a six bedroom home with an office, tennis court, library, theatre room and a pool. I thought I had figured my future all out but I was wrong, guess it’s part of growing up right?

Having our own plans not knowing God has a different one for us most times. Did I feel weird when I saw his wedding photos, yeah I did (more like damn he married before me! and he is a guy, lol) but I don't regret that I'm not his wife (I couldn’t live with a liar and cheat anyways). After we broke up he had a lot of chances to be with me but he didn't really do much about it, so it was definitely for the best.

Check here for My dating experience:My first love Part 5{cont'd}