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Self-Care Strategies to Prepare for a New Relationship: Building a Strong Foundation

Thought he was the one, Guess I was wrong


People will always disappoint you, no matter who they are or who they used be.  Though it hurts when it's someone you really love, it really hurts...
You know, we date people and break up. Some we break up for good reasons, some for bad and some for something that don't just make any sense.  Sometimes we want to get back with them, maybe like the latter...which is due to a little misunderstanding but it doesn't always work out that way .

I went to see my ex last year , he lives in another state and invited me. This was after I reached out;  I did it cause since we broke up, we keep going on a roller coaster - this year I'll block him, next year we are in contact again. I just wanted to grow the F-up.  And yes a part of me misses him, I kept wondering what went wrong. It's a long story but I really want to talk about it, so here goes;

It all started during my prescience, I met this talk, lanky, fair  handsome but shy guy, we say 'hello' 'hi',  he liked me, I had no idea... Someone else asked me out and I accepted. But me and this guy remained friends through out our university days, I even told him when I lost my virginity to the other guy (I had no idea I did at the time), that's how close we were.
Something happened in our second year,it was his sisters birthday and she came to our school to see him, we hung out at his friends place;his sister and friend were giving me hints about him having feelings for me but I didn't get it.  The little party was over and he walked me to my hostel;it started raining at the gate and he gave me his plaid shirt - at that spot, just that spot, I realised that I'm having feelings for him.  Since I was in a relationship with someone else and didn't know if this friend of mine wanted me, I decided not to think about it.

After that time, we were not always seeing, just once in a while. Then in year three, I lost my dad, my boyfriend attended and my friend could not but he called me and we talked really well. The thing is,me and this guy were not always in contact but each time we communicate, it feels like we have always been in touch cause we catch up really fast.

Anyways,before I graduated I ended things with my then boyfriend and travelled back home. After some months, I was called to serve my country, and I was posted to my friends state of residence.  Meanwhile I was dating someone else after school and somehow got engaged  - another weird and not so long story...

I went to see my friend at their family home, putting on my engagement ring (SMH), his family was so nice.  We watched movies, went for a walk, hung out with his friends and had drinks.  It was funny how they all knew about me and how smitten he was except me but I knew after the weekend I spent at his home. But then if he wanted to tell me, that ring I was putting on didn't help matters.  The truth is,i felt so at home and at peace after spending that weekend with his family - and we were just friends.

After a year, I completed my National youth Corp , I went back to my state of residence. Called off my engagement, and could not stop thinking about my time with my friend. We talked on phone once in a while, life happened, we lost communication again. Then I got a job in his state of residence and moved there. Before then, we sorta had a misunderstanding - maybe I took it personal cause I was having feelings for him . I was staying with my friend and I had few months to stay with her ,three months  precisely -since I was hoping I would be able to save up from my salary and pay for a place.  I reached out to this male friend of mine and told him I was in his city and he asked to meet up . We meet at a junction were he took me to his house. It was really nice seeing him, we were in a shared cab as and he placed his hands across my shoulders.

We got to his house , I freshened up and we started watching Twilight .He asked if I was hungry ,I said no. As the movie was playing, he  ironed my clothes while we caught up. He was done with ironing and since I had to work the next day, I had to go to bed (his cousin was around though - it was just the three of us).  As I stayed in the bedroom and he was in the living room, I wanted him to stay with me.  So I stood at the door and called him to stay with me.

To be continued...

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