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Self-Care Strategies to Prepare for a New Relationship: Building a Strong Foundation

What happens if you lose your virginity before 22?

What happens after you lose your virginity? Well, life happens, you move on. You are still you – well with a broken hymen (ah, that sounds gross!). Well, it’s not that big a deal, I’ll tell you my story;

Losing my virginity was with my first boyfriend –we dated for two years before I decided to give it up. It was during my university days; I always had this notion that whoever would take my virginity would be my husband, lol - how naive of me.

Anyways, I fell in love but I was always scared of penetration. There was this girl in my hostel that guys bragged about having intercourse with her.  I’m on the big size, well tall because I was quite slim in school. This girl was really petite and yet guys would brag about doing all kinds of things to her and I wondered –how can someone this small have intercourse – again, very naive of me.

So on the faithful day, one hot afternoon, I paid my boyfriend a visit and told him I was ready. He kept asking if I was sure and I told him “I am” that I just want to get it over with. So we did it.

I won’t advise anyone to do it for the first time the way we did it. Maybe it’s because we both watched adult movies, I just can’t explain why I decided to be on top for the first time...

It was very painful, I didn’t bleed but I felt a pep-perish pain every time water touched there.

Having intercourse for the first time was uncomfortable; my boyfriend then was quite endowed but didn’t know how to use it so it kind of bruised me a little.

How long you should wait before losing you virginity

You can wait for as long as you want. There is no fixed age to lose your virginity but you should be above 18 at most. It should be with someone you love and loves you back. It should be with someone that respects you.

If I would have to advise whether to do it early, I would say don’t. Why rush? After having intercourse for the first time, depending on the experience, you would want to keep having it. Though I don't advice to do it so early; I’m a Christian and believe it should be done with your spouse and it shouldn’t be something you just give freely.

With the world we live in today, people don’t take intercourse as a big deal anymore –it’s like taking a shower or brushing your teeth for most people but it shouldn’t be so.

Love making should be with someone you love and trust, someone that even though it doesn’t work out, you have no regrets cause it was a beautiful relationship. You just have to be sure of who you decide to give your body to.

Also, make sure you are safe  guys…I can’t stress that enough. You don’t want to get one disease or more from anyone; it’s very uncomfortable and could be deadly.

Do you walk differently after losing your virginity?

You don’t look any different, though you will feel different. Just like when Adam and Eve were exposed to the forbidden fruit –well not that drastic but you get my point.

You don’t walk differently unless you had to be in a very uncomfortable position for hours (no one have intercourse for hours…); you are still the same person and walk the same.

Intercourse is a natural activity, our bodies and hormones are wired for it. Was I glad I lost my virginity at 20?  It’s a little bittersweet. At the time, my boyfriend and I were in a serious relationship –well at least that is what I thought but I just wished I waited a little and not rush the intercourse process.

But all the same, it happened, I moved on, I’m still me. So don’t worry about losing your virginity before 22, as long as you are sure of whom you are doing it with and you are keeping safe. 

And if you decide to lose your virginity after 22, it’s still fine. Like I said, no specific time to lose your virginity, just follow your heart and listen to your body (trust me, your body have a way of telling you if it’s ready to have IT, especially for ladies).

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