I’m not from a
rich family or usually have money whenever I want; I’m just a very content
person. Sometimes I have money, sometimes I don’t; when I do, I make the most
of it (well not all the time; I remember when I was in primary school and my
dad’s friend gave my siblings and I fifty naira –back when Nigerian money had value,
and I lavished it on candy. My dad whooped my ass that day and I don’t think I
lavished money like that anymore. Other time was in the university; the truth
is we never had pocket money growing up, my “pocket money” was whatever was
left from my school bills – my dad gave money sometimes though.
It was tough not having money as my friends did, not being able to buy dresses I want and use money whenever I want. My eldest sister assisted me sometimes with clothes and bags – I collect them whenever I visit (before she realizes it I’m already in campus) and she gets pissed every time, lol. School was not that frustrating and I didn’t have to be the richest kid there since I looked (still do) really good, people just assume I’m from a wealthy family. Sometimes I get so broke but didn’t feel like it cause I had accommodation ( lived in the school hostel) and for me having a roof above my head is enough for me. I’ll just go to class since it wasn’t far from my hostel, go back to the hostel after lecture and prepare my meal. So as I said, it wasn’t all that bad and I’m a very content person. The good thing about being young is you don’t have responsibilities, just do right by your parents and they’ll take care of you (some parents though) if they are buoyant though.
It was tough not having money as my friends did, not being able to buy dresses I want and use money whenever I want. My eldest sister assisted me sometimes with clothes and bags – I collect them whenever I visit (before she realizes it I’m already in campus) and she gets pissed every time, lol. School was not that frustrating and I didn’t have to be the richest kid there since I looked (still do) really good, people just assume I’m from a wealthy family. Sometimes I get so broke but didn’t feel like it cause I had accommodation ( lived in the school hostel) and for me having a roof above my head is enough for me. I’ll just go to class since it wasn’t far from my hostel, go back to the hostel after lecture and prepare my meal. So as I said, it wasn’t all that bad and I’m a very content person. The good thing about being young is you don’t have responsibilities, just do right by your parents and they’ll take care of you (some parents though) if they are buoyant though.
After university,
you are literally on your own, at least kids like me that their parents were
just trying to pay for their school tuition fee. The truth is I had no idea how
it was going to be; I barely watched news or wasn’t interested in the economy
of the country. But during my NYSC days, I began to have an idea of what was
going on (and don’t tell me NYSC was educational; in my opinion, it was a waste
of my time and the government could have done better in terms of allowance) but
I wasn’t really convinced until I entered the labor market.
I got a job
after a year and the half, the one in port-Harcourt (some people get a job immediately
after NYSC, some after three or five years and some didn’t even get a job that
they had to start they own businesses – the ones that had income to begin with)
and the economy wasn’t looking so bad from where I was until I left the job due
to harassment from my job and I stayed another year before I got another one.
These jobs were not all that but they helped pay my toiletries and feeding so I
guess it was something right? As time went by, the country got worse; it was
harder to get jobs, pay bills etc and I kept jumping from one dead end job to
the other.
Now unemployed
and obviously broke since I am on my own (even people that have jobs are
frustrated because their salaries do nothing for them –the economy has never
been this bad). Guess what? I was living in a rented apartment, paying
electricity and security bills so I’m sure you can imagine how I felt (not
there anymore, I’m at my mum’s now). The building was by the road –I wanted it
that way so it’ll be easier to leave for work, my caretaker lived in the
compound and I had a terrible neighbor I shared electricity bill with.
According to her, she is a ‘business person’ which meant she was always at
home.
For someone like
me that usually leaves the house by 7am every morning for six months since I
moved there to not going to work every day was challenging. I didn’t want any
of them to know I lost my job but it was impossible because they were always at
home and my care taker has a car wash business just outside the compound, so…
the environment was really exposed. Most times I would stay indoors, especially
since the business I started right after didn’t work out due to capital and I
was very cautious at every movement in the compound. I felt like a prisoner in
the apartment I paid for cause I was worried about people finding out I’m home.
I could not sleep at night (taking cool midnight showers helped) ,spent time
with people I had no business with just to pass time. I was desperate to get a
job before my rent expired that I kept meeting disgusting men i thought were responsible,
I also had a thing with my neighbor – will write on that soon and no it wasn’t
that bad.
Being broke and
unemployed as a lady in Nigeria is not something I wish on my enemy. The temptation,
frustration, depression, oppression and desperation are endless.
The temptation
I was tempted to
do things I knew I would not normally do. Married men asking me out, some
wanting me to carry their baby in the name of “I will give you a job” while some
pretended to help just to get me to give in. They were not all married, some
were single or had baby mamas. My ex (for like two seconds) was proposing a
mock wedding (hmm, okay I think it was before I told him I lost my job), It was
frustrating!
The frustration
I was so
frustrated I was giving attention to a total loser and to the wrong people; I
would get into that story but it’s quite lengthy - Trust me this guy was a
loser. Just know that the loser pretended to be single and wanted to settle
down but he has a wife and a baby (well that’s what he told me after I finally
had a reality check).
The depression
I was so
depressed I contemplated ending my life (I even had a plan in my head; make a
video on Facebook, doing it in my bathroom on a work day that before people
would get to me I’d be gone- I know! What a terrible thought and thing to do) -
kids please don’t try this. I didn’t like waking up in the morning cause I didn’t
see the point (I usually start sleeping from 4-6am), skipped breakfast-
sometimes there was no breakfast, gained weight. Exercise helped my mood sometimes
(not with my weight since I was off and on but with depression) – sometimes I
would dance, music helped too and watching motivational and inspirational
videos.
Though it felt
like I was the only one going through what I was going through but reading
other peoples story and how they overcame it and became successful gave me some
perspective.
The oppression
Though things
are really tough in Nigeria, some people are still slaying and don’t get me
started on social media (yes, most of that is not real but believe me, it gets
you sometimes especially being in a fragile state). It wasn’t just social media
,I faced oppression in my apartment (my neighbor bullying me to pay my
electricity bill, just one time she paid
hers early),the so called men promising to help me with a job, flashing their
cash and influence on me.
The desperation
I was desperate at
some point; to take any job (applied to waitress- trust me, waitressing in
Nigeria is not a job), I was willing to do anything so I could pay my next
rent. I went to clubs to submit my cv since I was harassed in all “my corporate
job”, I might as well go to where it is expected ,at least I’d be getting paid
and I don’t have to wake up so early in the morning. I got one ‘job’ as a bar supervisor,
I was offered eighty thousand naira but I became greedy and insisted on a
hundred thousand. The manager said he would get back to me but he didn’t, that
was how I lost that job but I decided not to have any regrets and keep moving.
You know the
annoying thing about these men that claim to have it all? They can’t even give
you what you want. One time I told myself when I get to visit any of them again
I would say this; “why don’t you want to help me? Is it sex you want? Okay
fine! I need one million naira and it should be paid up front before anything
happens” and I’ll see what they would do, lol. Since they decided to treat me
like a hooker, I might as well make money off of it. I know you are wondering
if I would do it…uh, hell no! That’s why they need to pay upfront, lol. At a
point I thought of settling down with any guy that is ready to.
Anyhow, being
broke and unemployed in Nigeria as a lady is dilapidating. The thought of going
back to my mum’s place was not ideal (besides it’s not the worst thing) but I
had to suck it up and go back before I do something I would regret for the rest
of my life. Though I felt like I was going backwards but sometimes you have to take a step back or
lean back to see what’s ahead or in front of you especially when your future is
as bright as mine *smiles*. And I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, this is just a temporal
set back and I have learnt (still
learning) so much that I understand why I have to go through what I’m going
through – it’s prepare me for who I am meant to be.
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