The next day,
I felt so guilty and bad that I decided to make amends with my boyfriend since
it was loneliness that made me do what I did in the first place.
Since I agreed with his friend not to discuss it with him, I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened but it was eating me up inside. Things were going as normal, until I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s place - mind you, this was happening in my second year in school... One afternoon, my boyfriend checked my phone and saw messages from his friend (basically our chats, I don’t know why I left them there…guess I didn’t think what I was doing/did something wrong) and asked why his friend was sending me messages.
Since I agreed with his friend not to discuss it with him, I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened but it was eating me up inside. Things were going as normal, until I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s place - mind you, this was happening in my second year in school... One afternoon, my boyfriend checked my phone and saw messages from his friend (basically our chats, I don’t know why I left them there…guess I didn’t think what I was doing/did something wrong) and asked why his friend was sending me messages.
I was shocked that
I still had those messages, so I explained to him that it was when we were
having issues that his friend was just being a friend and wants to help with my
music career. He was obviously worried but didn’t want to show it and he asked
“is that all this is about”? And I assured him that it was. I felt really bad
that I was lying about the other thing that happened but I didn’t want to run
his friendship and his friend’s relationship (though I didn’t know his
girlfriend well, they don’t need to be having problems).
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And I said; “Please
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen, it was innocent until he kissed me.
I didn’t tell you because it meant nothing and he begged me not to, he said it
would ruin your friendship with him”. He
said; “so you care about our friendship than your relationship? I can’t
believe you did this. That means you can kill me…you can actually plan with my
supposed friend and kill me. Did you know he set you up? He told his friends he
was going to make you fall for him after I bragged about how good you are? Did
you know? ”
I was really
shocked at this, I thought everything happened naturally and didn’t know
everything was planned. We were both
sitting in bed and he asked if we had sex (remember I was still a virgin and my
boyfriend and I were going on two years) and I said we didn’t, it was just a
kiss. He said “I don’t believe you, if you could keep something like this from me how
can I believe anything you say now?” I replied;” it was in class, I swear it was just a kiss and it lasted like 10
seconds” He was so angry and frustrated
that he almost forced me to have sex with him, I was crying and surrendered to
him – somehow I felt I was wrong and deserved whatever he did to me. He broke
up with me; it was already too late to go back to the hostel that night so I
spent the night in tears, pleading while he slept on the floor.
The next morning
I woke up and he was gone. He went to his former lodge were the friend stays to
confront him (i heard they were in a brawl but people intervened before it
escalated). He got back home and I tried to talk to him but he said his mind
was made up, that he cannot continue the relationship. That same morning, I
went back to my hostel with swollen eyes from crying, dehydrated with no more
tears to spill. My friend and roommate (the one that knew about me and my boyfriend’s
friend) was around when I got to the hostel, every other person had gone for
lecture. And I told her everything; she said I should stop crying that
everything would be fine. I climbed my bunk and slept off since I didn’t sleep
the night before while my friend went to class.
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As I got down
from my bunk, I noticed my friend was back from class, She asked how I was
feeling and I said I could be better. So she told me she saw my boyfriend
around campus and they talked. She told him how it all started since she was
aware of it and I asked what he said and she said;“ he said he just needs some
time”. So I thought, what does it mean? Would he take me back? Can he forgive
me? She said she knows it’s not my fault and that if he is smart he wouldn’t end
what we have because of what happened… Everything will be fine –she said.
Check Here for My Dating Experience : My First Love 2 {Cont'd}
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