Life And Dating

  Hate is a strong word and can only be used in this situation. Just sitting at home doing nothing can be very annoying (at least I have my blog to keep me busy but I also need money for data and stuff…so it’s still annoying). Anyways I would like to mention nine reasons (there are more reasons) I hate being jobless and I’m sure most of you can relate;

At Sixteen, I was done with secondary school, preparing to write my jamb. I fantasized about being a singer and I would tell my friends to join me so we could form a group like Destiny's child. I also enjoyed writing my feelings and tried writing songs as well even though I didn't know what's was doing.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!! This post should have come early considering this is a Life and Dating blog but better late than ever right? And to my catholic folks, I welcome you to the season of Lent.   Before now, Nigerians made all sorts of memes talking about the fact that Valentine fell on not just Lenten season but Champions League where popular team ,Real Madrid Vs PSG anf Chelsea Vs Barcelona will be playing., telling ladies this day was not just favorable for them ‘us’.

On the second month of my IT, I lost my dad…it was the most horrifying time of my life. I had never lost anyone that close to me before, so it was tough. My boyfriend attended the funeral in my village and somehow we became close again; I shared a lot of things with him and he could also relate with it. I didn’t want to go home immediately so I followed him back to school after the funeral. He took care of me during that period, I felt numb, something in me changed.

The next semester was approaching; my boyfriend and I were already planning to meet before resumption. We missed each other so much we could not wait to see each other.   We finally met and had all kinds of sex, surprisingly it wasn’t bad, maybe it was cause I missed him so much or I was finally getting used to his manhood, I don’t know, lol…but it was good.

And everything was fine …well for a while. The next day, I was still in bed (not just in the mood for lectures or seeing anyone) then I get a call from my boyfriend that he was downstairs. He said “Hey, I’m sorry, can I see you? I’m downstairs” I was so excited and I said “I’m coming”.   My eyes were still swollen from crying, I didn’t have anything to eat because I just didn’t have the appetite. I met him downstairs, he smiled and said he missed me and I should follow him home. We went home and continued like nothing happened.

The next day , I felt so guilty and bad that I decided to make amends with my boyfriend since it was loneliness that made me do what I did in the first place.

I visited him one Sunday (either he comes to my apartment or I go to his) and we got freaky – I’ve never really enjoyed head in my thirty something years, I really don’t know why. Some say it’s probably the guy but I’m thinking what if it’s not *sigh*, they (not all guys I date I give head, just three to be precise) seem to enjoy it when I give them though. Anyways, we were laying on his bed and talking – then he mentions his girlfriend suspecting he has met someone new since she noticed he wasn’t communicating as he used to.

Well when I say a “thing” I don’t mean a fling, I barely do flings (and don’t judge anyone that does) –so it wasn’t a fling, what was it then? You ask…to be honest i don’t know but it was something. This happened when I got my own apartment , I didn’t know what to expect or to do what I did (trust me it wasn’t that big a deal…or was it? hmmm, maybe). I was just a single gal, looking for privacy and trying to make ends meet.

The pageant was going on smoothly, I was just sitting watching my boyfriend talk and giggle with his best friend’s cousin like I wasn’t even there. They went on a music break and to ignore my boyfriend’s behavior, I went to the dance floor and saw a friend from my pre-science days with his male friend and we just started dancing together. As I danced I checked on my boyfriend to see if he was watching me or jealous I was dancing with someone else but he wasn’t looking my way.

Hey Y’all, How are you all doing? Hope great, happy New Year once again…how is the New year looking on you? Looks promising right? I hope so. Anyways I planned to make some changes in my life this year and today is day one; I got up by 4am, jumped on the stationary bike and now I’m writing this post.

Wow, it’s been two weeks since my last post. I’m so sorry guys, a lot have been going on – from some of my post you would know I’m mostly in control of things around the house and no! I am not married yet but I’m dealing with my mum and siblings. In other words, I give my mum a break during the festive seasons and take care of the cooking and things that needs to be fixed (hmmm, not just festive season for this one). Anyhow, I hope to make it up to you next year, yep! Just few hours to 2018 (started writing this post at 8:08pm -Nigerian time).

After spending few months with my elder sister that lives on her own, I got admission into the university. I was so excited but had no idea what to expect; the thought of being in another state for four years made me nervous but luckily I wasn’t alone, my brother got admission there as well. Since I didn’t have a space in the hostel yet, I had to crash at a childhood friend’s place and my bro did the same- there was no boys’ hostel, just girls hostel.

I liked reading at night in class as well as some of our classmates and that was where we met most of the time. After some hours of reading we take walks outside and talk in the moonlight, it was so romantic. We discussed about our families; though I didn’t tell him I was from a broken home just yet, his dad was late at the time and he shared memories of him. I began to get comfortable with him that there was no other guy I was interested in. We shared our first kiss one night our class mate (it was a pre-degree program) had a party; I could not attend because my brother ordered me not to and surprisingly he ‘my first love’ didn’t attend as well. Before then I could not meet with him cause some guys reported me to my elder brother and he warned me not to go out with my him but I was miserable without him – I could not sleep and I kept thinking about him so I decided to go to class to keep my mind busy, I never knew I would meet him there.

As a thirty something year old lady, with six siblings (two from another woman),is very natural to want to have my own apartment. Though the other two (siblings) were not living with us during my university days, I always wanted my privacy. Growing up, my siblings and I share a room and as we got older it was me and my sister and there wasn’t much room to breathe (if you know what I mean – ladies fight a lot and my sis was not just any girl). Anyways, I have always carried the weight of my family on my shoulders, whether they knew or not. I always think about them and I think about them in any decision I make that I was not going anywhere in life...

Dating according Wikipedia ; Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage.

Just as this year has been a rollercoaster for me, well September was the most depressing. Okay, like you all know, I am unemployed (gosh, I really need to stop saying that, I sound like a broken record), for those of you who don’t know why, you should check HERE . Anyways, September was the most depressing because my rent was due on Oct 4 and it was the time for me to come to terms with my situation or do something about it; get the money before the due date or just move out. So here’s why I could not write at that time;

Well I have been single for quite a while, like my last actual relationship was in 2011. The rest have just been flings (without sex I know right? How does that work?) –can you call it that though? Anyways relationships as most people say are ‘complicated’ and it just takes one to meet the right one (is there really a right one – well the one meant for you) for things to just work out. My first relationship was in the university and it was educative, heartbreaking, interesting, you know…a lot.

Today is kind of weird for me…Well, not really weird, just emotionally draining. I’m sure most of you have experienced something like this; where tears just start falling down your eyes even when you don’t know no the reason why.

I’m not from a rich family or usually have money whenever I want; I’m just a very content person. Sometimes I have money, sometimes I don’t; when I do, I make the most of it (well not all the time; I remember when I was in primary school and my dad’s friend gave my siblings and I fifty naira –back when Nigerian money had value, and I lavished it on candy. My dad whooped my ass that day and I don’t think I lavished money like that anymore. Other time was in the university; the truth is we never had pocket money growing up, my “pocket money” was whatever was left from my school bills – my dad gave money sometimes though.